6-13

...days left if that's more your style

^-Weeks that is. Because in six weeks, I'll be leaving everything behind for thirteen weeks. The reality of what "everything" is, is slowly catching up to me. Not too long ago, it seemed like more of a "nothing". And I guess sometimes I still find myself thinking that way, depending on the day. Looking at the weeks remaining to weeks spoken for ratio, it's seeming to be a little more like an "everything" kind of day.

My day to day interactions with people, the very thing that once made me yearn to be gone, now make me feel a little more sad to put them behind me. The customers at work, my co-workers, my friends, my family... I'm kind of just taking myself out of that mix for 3 whole months and diving right into an entirely different mix. One where language barriers alone may cut my potential for mixture-diversification down to nothing. And what about the state of things back here while I'm gone? What can happen to everyone in those 90 days?

And what about the choice to leave versus the choice to stay? I could have been promoted by now at work, be going to school this semester, or even just NOT blowing through my savings of the last six months. Instead I'll be spending 3 months seeing pretty things, spending several thousand dollars, and trying to "find myself". I mean to some people (Yeah I'm looking at you, future employers) don't like to hire dirty hippy-communist world travelers.

Some days, it does all get to be a little bit frightening. But I knew that going into this. And for every bad day, there are like 10 great days. Cloudy as this path may be, it's the one that I know is the right one for me to take. And aside from being made a fool of in public, mugged, raped, murdered, tortured, or held hostage by terrorists... whats the worst that can happen? The self-fulfillment alone of having chased my dream will at least make future dream hunting that much easier.