Well, here I go. I've bought the ticket, and so begins the actual "trip" feeling. Now I can't say I'm all talk, because I've bought covered the most expensive single piece of the trip that money buys. It's a funny feeling really. I am flying as cheap as I possibly can and am now locked in, something that should make you feel uneasy and wary of the reliability of your flight. But for me, right now, it's like I'm locking myself into it all. And there's a lot to be said for that.
One year ago, I was selling candy bars to my wonderfully generous and hungry (but mostly just hungry) fellow high school dwellers. Wondering why I wasn't going to college next year. Wondering what I'd be doing when I got back from my one month summer trip. Wondering why I didn't have college plans or even a job to come back to. Fast forward a few months, I land a job, one that is actually fine with me taking a month of absence from the country. Fast forward a few more months and I'm drinking water falling from the top of an Alpine mountain. Words can not describe how amazing my one month to German-speaking Europe was. From the second the jet lag wore off- no, before that even. I knew I was in some strange kind of love.
And I do mean love. Love for a place, it's people, it's style, it's sights, it's attitudes, it's... well a lot of stuff. Words don't do the feeling any justice as I'm sure you can ask anyone whose been lucky enough to feel it. And I didn't just feel it. Ask anyone who had the, we'll say "pleasure" of having me sit there and talk their ear off about the amazing things I had seen and done; I was dripping with passion for everything life had to offer. Even as I recall the memories, I'm getting all warm and fuzzy inside. And as overjoyed as I was to have been a part of it all, the reality of reality played a pretty big role in taking me down a few pegs.
And as quickly as I became accustomed to hearing everyone around me speak German, I was back to answering the drive thru and steaming milk. The shine was just a corner of my brain filled with memories that people were slowly getting more and more tired of me bragging about. The future was bleak because it was empty. How could an empty future compare to such an amazingly vibrant past? I was happy, in my day to day life. I loved my job, my coworkers, and my regulars... but I was slowly noticing I had a heart that, by yearning, was slowly breaking.
Fast forward a few more months and a long-time friend and now coworker, tells me that he's planning to backpack in Europe and that (and here's where it all really turns around): I can come with him, if I want. It's history what my answer to that was. And just like that I was saving. I was back to selling candy bars to generous and thirsty (but mostly thirsty) consumers to feed my newly discovered dream. Not caring that I didn't have college plans. Not caring that I'd have to leave the job I so desperately wanted not too long ago.
Now, here I am. My ticket bought, my bank account generously fed. And I'm full of passion again. And dang it, I'm getting that warm and fuzzy feeling again.
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